Struggles of a Firefighter's Wife
7:38 PM
3 am.
Warm sheets.
Soft pillow.
Sent of lavender fabric softener.
Hum of the overhead fan.
The ear piercing series of tones coming from my husbands nightstand.
Ahh.. Home.
Never thought I'd get used to being jerked out of a very pleasant dream, but here I am. You get used to it after a while. I feel him sit up, yawn, and quickly stumble around the dark room. Through sleep filled eyes he reaches for his boots. The tones still going off. Sounds like this one will be a bad one. The dispatcher quickly reads off the list of trucks. "901,902,904,911,931.." All of his stations trucks are called out as she moves onto another series. I lift my head to hear better.
Fully engulfed structure fire.
He notices I'm up. Gives me a quick kiss and hurries out the door. I hear the car door close and see the lights start flashing. He waits till he gets to the end of the road to fire up the siren. I force my quickening heart to calm down. I know he will be okay but every time I seem to find myself worrying. His lingering sent and sound of the rain lure me back to sleep. My alarm goes off. I reach for him and he is not there. I start to worry but I know he is good at what he does. He will be fine. I get dressed and ready for my day.
This is something that every firefighter wife goes through. The worry. The anticipation of when he will get home. But most of all the pride. The pride we fill when he walks through that door. His expression tired but content. No, they didn't save the house. But everyone is out and safe. The prevented it from spreading.
Firefighters put their life on the line everyday, yet somehow they don't gain the respect they deserve.
There was once a girl that we met in target who was going on on her phone about how she sees overweight firefighters and she knows damn well they don't do any firefighting to be that overweight. My husband sure tore into her. But this is something that firefighters get more than they care to admit. My husband isn't necessarily overweight but there are firefighters who are. This doesn't mean that they don't risk just as much. Sometimes they are the only ones strong enough to pull your body out of a vehicle you wrapped around a tree.
This is something I see him struggle with. Most people will never give them the respect they deserve. Its up to us. The wives. Its hard on us as too. We have to be the supporter. The lover. The best friend. and even sometimes the mom.
Its hard. I rarely see my husband. He works full time as a firefighter. They get less money than they deserve, so he works part time as a pharmacy tech at CVS. In between two jobs he still finds the time to volunteer as a firefighter. Its hard on our relationship. As his wife, I want to spend time with him. But I feel selfish to take him away from that. From a place he can make a difference. A place where he can save lives.
Its hard. Its not easy. never relationship is. I can't imagine the difficulties to come once we have kids.
So cheers to all the wives out there. The wives behind the firefighters. The wives who persevere through everything. The wives who hold up the firefighters. Who support, nurture, and guide. Cheers to you.
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